Blonde Alan Alda Trauma

I’m still going through photos from ZoloCon earlier this month, and I missed talking about a few items. I just remembered why I took so many photos of this at my friend Mark Huckabone’s booth.

The Tri-Star M*A*S*H toyline came onto the scene when I was pretty into the GI Joe RAH toy line, thanks to that wonderful comic. I’m a notorious cherry picker of action figure lines as a kid; I only had Crystar himself, one Muppet Show (Gonzo), and….. Hawkeye Pierce. I watched M*A*S*H episodes back-to-back every day on the little black-and-white TV in my bedroom as a kid (on City TV channel 79).

I can’t say the toy line impressed me at that age. I remember friends taking me to see the “Klinger in a dress” figure in the toy department. We were old enough to wonder why a toy company would even do that. Klinger no longer did that on the show since the 1970s. It was our first taste of ironic humour; these figures almost reached “Love Boat” levels of mockery with my friends on mall trips (WHERE WE WENT BY OURSELVES BTW!)

But I caved and bought a Hawkeye. I thought it would work, but at that age, I don’t know if I was playing so much or acting out the comics. Also, I was 12 and impulsive.

It didn’t work; his grimace ruined every “Scene” in my head. He even looked elated when Cobra killed him. I vowed never to buy any more Mash figures; I had “buyer’s remorse.”

However, the Vehicles looked cool as hell, and I always wanted the MASH Helicopter as a toy, dating back to an early memory. However, I couldn’t abide their “Generic 4077 Soldier Man,” who was not only just Hawkeye again but also a mustard-blonde, no-eyebrows man.

It pained me that the entire M*A*S*H cast, even a simple background soldier, had to be smiling as if the Joker had just visited the 4077 and put Smylex in Hawkeye’s still.

I could live with myself with having one chuckling character, but I was not letting this grinning homunculus into my home.

It’s a silly thing to me now, and honestly, even when I saw that helicopter on closeout, it didn’t matter because there was this new toy line called “Dungeons and Dragons” that, despite my never successfully having ever played the game, was my last childhood toy line. It was perfect for a middle school kid.

#mash #plaidstallions #toyventures

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The Lincoln Monsters Backer Kit Store is now open to the public. After the successful Kickstarter campaign (Thank You Again!), BackerKit is the next chance to get in on the Lincoln Horror Show.

The Lincoln Monsters Backer Kit Store is now open to the public.

Issue #13 of Toy-Ventures features the never-before-seen plans for the 1983 World’s Greatest Superheroes toy line and a cover featuring artwork specially commissioned for Mego’s catalog, gloriously coloured by Robyn Adams, founder of the Mego Museum.
https://www.toyventuresmag.com

Issue #13 of Toy-Ventures Magazine will feature the never-before-seen plans for the 1983 World’s Greatest Superheroes toy line and a cover featuring artwork specially commissioned for Mego’s catalogue, gloriously coloured by Robyn Adams, founder of the Mego Museum.

The Blood-A-Rama Shock Festival Pack

MASH, M*A*S*H, Tri-Star, O-ring figures, GI Joe, 1983, RAH, Toy-ventures, Mark Huckabone, Plaidstallions, Zolocon, action figures, Love Boat, Mego, Alan Alda, Hawkeye Pierce,