Kringle Krap Part One

This vintage giftwrap represents the dilemma of doing a piece on Christmas items. Christmas has always had one foot in tacky to begin with so even though this giftwrap comes from the era of butterfly collars and jumpsuits, i could swear that I unwrapped it last year.

Another thing that never goes out of style or changes, Fruitcake! That’s because they actually stopped making it in 1976, people have just been giving each other the same one over and over again. Carve your initials in the next one you give to someone, you’ll get it back. (I know it’s a hacky joke)

Fruitcake is just slightly better than the sausage platter IMO, which I received from my grandparents when I was in college. It was like getting a card that said “Dear Brian, we know nothing about you, enjoy”
Toys of Wishlists Past

“Tobor is Robot spelled backwards” was the tagline in the commercials. The minute they started running this commercial, Tobor was forever ingrained into my psyche. I’m sure he made it on to my wishlist but my parents seemed to avoid stuff like this focusing on Star Wars and Micronauts. It’s hard to be bitter.

Who the hell didn’t want a Hoppity? I still want one! I’d like the Husky Gentleman version please, I’m big boned. I used to be an office manager, I swore if I’d provided these to my employees, production would triple. They all laughed at me!