PS Contest: Schoolyard BS winners

Well, you guys made it hard to decide but I’ve finally picked my three favourites out of the great submissions I received. I can’t believe how many of you heard that “Gene Simmons had a cow’s toungue surgericly implanted” thing, I used to believe that but not the “KISS went to Mars” my deskmate Andrew tried to pull on me.

Here are a few that didn’t win but deserve mention:

I, Warren wrote: “{A kid in neighbourhood] claimed he saw an episode of Wonder Woman (of course it was the night before & I missed it) guest-starring Batman & Superman. Wonder Woman died in a truly horrible way – something about a wood chipper – so Superman & Batman prayed (?!?) and brought her back to life.” (One to block on facebook…)

JF Stan related about a super gory version of Halloween some kids claimed to have seen, I love the answer when confronted:

“When I confronted the guys who played it up, they basically said that the theatrical version was too violent, even for HBO, and the version shown was dumbed down as not to drive viewers insane.” Yes, HBO is very concerned about your sanity, that explains Arli$…

Beth wrote about being star struck: “in the 7th grade a boy told me that George Carlin was his uncle and would be at his house that weekend and if I went to 2nd base with him (the boy, not Carlin) that I could meet Uncle George and even have dinner with him!! Yep, I was a slut, and George Carlin was not his uncle. Damn, I’m still sore about that one.”

In the seventh grade, I’d have gone to second base if there was a chance of meeting Carlin.

THE WINNERS: Here in no specific order are the winners (please don’t mock my meager attempt to photo shop, I’m fragile and talentless):

Kong Jeans by Eric Feasterville

“Right after DeLaurentis’ King Kong came out, a nefarious playground liar informed me that he had the latest in chic fashion: King Kong jeans! Yep, Dino had apparently cut off all the fur from the giant robot Kong used in the film and attached a snatch of it on the back pocket of these authentic Kong Jeans. I kept asking this liar to wear them into school, but of course he “wasn’t allowed.”

What a classic tale, the liar kid always had an excuse as to why he couldn’t bring this faantabulous item to the school yard. I remember one kid said he left his amazing Flash Mego doll “at the cottage”.

Charlie’s Angel Card by Laura Moncur

Laura’s entry is a tad long, so it’s best read on her blog. Even though she is the spreader of the BS rumour, she uses it to get revenge on a bully, so it’s ok. This story has everything and I’m a sucker for pictures of Jaclyn Smith.

Bigfoot by Mike
Mike submitted a pile but something about this made me laugh:
“On Six Million Dollar Man’s Secret of Bigfoot … Bigfoot was actually a real robot made by the studio.None of us ever heard of Andre the Giant back then … and the name does sound like it’s not a real person.” Weird name, must be a robot, completely rational line of thinking there Holmes…

Bonus Winner: Reverse BS

Ian Marchant sent in this schoolyard rumour he cried BS on which turned out to be true. It’s so good, I decided it had to be a bonus winner. To be honest, I’d have done the same thing:

him a turnip etc then to prove him wrong we marched him to the lobby to discover Tom Baker handing out free copies of issue one of Dr Who Weekly. We were rightly humbled and I still have that dog eared copy.>>

And that’s it. Thanks for all the amazing entries, winners I’ll be in touch, or you can beat me to it.

Tags: contest

Seventiesfan on July 20, 2014

How about the legend of Life cereal's Mikey getting killed by Pop Rocks and Coca-cola? That one went on for years.
Or how about the one of Suzanne Somers getting fired from Three's Company for bullying the producers and asking for an outrageous pay raise? Oh, wait… that one really did happen.