{"id":7899,"date":"2012-08-05T04:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-08-05T04:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/plaidstallions.com\/reboot\/index.php\/2012\/08\/05\/nerd-therapy-session-x-ray-blechs\/"},"modified":"2019-09-08T18:13:55","modified_gmt":"2019-09-08T18:13:55","slug":"nerd-therapy-session-x-ray-blechs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/plaidstallions.com\/reboot\/nerd-therapy-session-x-ray-blechs\/","title":{"rendered":"Nerd Therapy Session: X-Ray Blechs"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n<\/a><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\nX-Ray
\nBlechs<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\nThis
\none takes place during my family’s one memorable trip to Florida in 1977
\n(referenced already in this tale<\/a>) and my first experience with feeling totally
\nripped off.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\nIt’s
\nan “I’m still kicking myself” experience and it’s  after the jump.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\n<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/a><\/span>
\n<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\nSo
\nlet me preface by saying that, I was the kid who religiously filled out every comic ad. I wanted the army men in the (pressboard<\/span>) foot locker, I wanted to sell grit (even though I had no idea what it was) and boy howdy, I wanted  the toys.  I can remember giving my parents my first communion money and a
\nHeroes World ad filled out for every Mego Superhero I didn’t have.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/span>

\nThe only problem was according to my parents, ordering things from the United States was
\na real hassle. You had to go to the bank and change your money and then to the
\nPost Office and change it into a money order, somewhere in the middle you had
\nto fight a giant spider, it was a nightmare.<\/span><\/span>
\n<\/p>\n

<\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\nSo,
\nall of my “ordering junk from a comic book” fantasies went unrequited in my early
\nyears. <\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\nSo,
\nwhen the family hit Florida in December of 1977, my mind went into overdrive, I was going to be in this magical land of Cookie Crisp and Putt Putt golf courses.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\nMy
\nparents had us leave on Christmas morning, so it wasn’t like I was going to
\nget a ton of toy money for the trip. The US five my grandmother gave me the night before was
\npretty much it.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\nSo
\nwhat was my mission? a pair of X-Ray specs. Despite the fact that my father
\ndistributed “joke shop” type items, he didn’t seem to carry these.
\nThey drove me mad, I needed them. I can’t for the life of me remember why, I had no burning desire to see naked people, I think it was the idea that I’d never been able to find them.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/span>
\nThe opportunity came pretty quickly,  we were in some sparse Florida mall and they had a magic
\nshop. I could take my kid to every town for 200 miles and not find a magic shop but they were so commonplace during the 1970s, that my family found one
\nfirst try!<\/span><\/span>
\n<\/p>\n

<\/span>

\n I snapped up the X Ray specs super quick and waited for one of the clerks
\n(seriously business was good enough that this tiny magic shop had two clerks)
\nas he was showing a customer a medicine bottle.<\/span><\/span>
\n<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\n“This
\nwill cure what ails your wife” he said to the customer as lifted the lid
\nto reveal a dabber was in actually, a plastic penis, both men had a good
\nchuckle. That is, until they realized a saucer eyed seven year old was watching
\nthe two of them.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\nI
\nforked over my Christmas five  to buy the specs, raced out of the store and put
\nthem on.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/span>
\nThey didn’t work, at all. I guess if you squinted, you could see like, a shadow but I didn’t need to spend three bucks to squint, I was and remain pretty good at it.<\/span><\/span>
\n<\/p>\n

<\/span>
\n<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\nI
\ntried to cover up, claiming loudly ” Boy, there are a lot of skeletons
\nwalking around”, which still makes me cringe. My parents probable ignored that comment but my eleven
\nyear old sister smelled BS and asked to try them.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\nI
\nrefused and wore them for about four hours after.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\nThe sinking feeling set in immediately, I blew it. I was in the world of comic
\nbook ads, where Mego Teen Titans dolls were commonplace, where Toys R Us stores
\nexisted, what the hell was i doing? I hadn’t picked my battle at all!<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\nI
\ncould be playing with my Mego Human Torch doll right now!<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/span>I
\nremember brooding in our modestly priced motel room watching an episode of  <\/span>“Szysznyk” as well it was
\nyesterday. Seriously most of you will have to google Ned Beatty’s short lived
\nrip off of “Welcome Back Kotter” but I could act out that
\nepisode,  <\/span>it’s in my mental DVR along
\nwith “birth of son” and “first car accident” so it goes to
\nshow how much of an impact it had on me.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\nThe
\nlesson of this has not been lost on me and I’m sure it’s one of the many little
\nweaves into the tapestry of why I do what I do. By the way, I’ve never owned a second
\npair of X-Ray specs in my life, I’m still a little bitter.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\nI do however, have a staggeringly exhaustive collection
\nand knowledge of medicine bottles with penises inside. I assure you,  it’s completely
\nhealthy and unrelated to this incident.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

X-Ray Blechs This one takes place during my family’s one memorable trip to Florida in 1977 (referenced already in this tale) and my first experience with feeling totally ripped off. It’s an “I’m still kicking myself” experience and it’s  after the jump. So let me preface by saying that, I was the kid who religiously filled […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","itunes_episode_number":"","itunes_title":"","itunes_season_number":"","itunes_episode_type":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[437,438],"series":[],"class_list":["post-7899","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-misery","tag-nerd-therapy"],"episode_featured_image":false,"episode_player_image":"https:\/\/plaidstallions.com\/reboot\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/podcastmarker.png","download_link":"","player_link":"","audio_player":false,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"dark","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"rss":{"key":"rss","url":"","label":"RSS","class":"rss","icon":"rss.png"},"rssradio":{"key":"rssradio","url":"","label":"RSSRadio","class":"rssradio","icon":"rssradio.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"stitcher":{"key":"stitcher","url":"https:\/\/www.stitcher.com\/podcast\/pod-stallions\/ps","label":"Stitcher","class":"stitcher","icon":"stitcher.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/plaidstallions.com\/reboot\/feed\/podcast\/default-podcast","embedCode":"

Nerd Therapy Session: X-Ray Blechs<\/a><\/blockquote>