I haven’t done a photo review in over a year? Thank goodness for the new Jazwares Original Stretch Armstrong.


In the past few years, there’s been talk of a movie and even an animated series but the only thing I give a toss about is a reproduction of the big guy himself. I’ll explain (and show) more after the jump:

Let me start off by saying that Stretch Armstrong is one of my happiest and saddest experiences with toys growing up. A seventh birthday gift, I relentlessly lobbied  and loved the hell out of him, even taking him to bed! That’s when temptation got overpowered me.

Yup, I had to know what was inside and ol’ Stretch was never quite the same (the corn syrup was red BTW which added to my state of panic). I was left with a mountain of regret and in my house, it was  “One Strike, You’re Out” when it came to breaking a toy.

So Stretch would haunt me for years.

Flash forward to the late 90s, the internet and disposable income had me track down a vintage MIB Stretch for a reasonable sum but he was rock solid (as these tend to get) and it wasn’t the same. I eventually sold him during a purge when I had my first kid.


When this figure finally got announced, I was excited, which is rare these days. So I conned a good pal into bringing me back one from vacation when they started appearing in NY area Target stores.

So how is he?


As reproductions go, this is pretty darn swell. The head is a wonderful reproduction of the original.


There are subtle differences from the original Stretch but they don’t detract from the fun experience. The box art is understandably different and the Stretch mat is no longer included (I never used it as a kid anyway).


 He’s slightly smaller but that also means he no longer weighs 80 pounds. There is still some sort of goo inside that hurts like hell if you try to punch him.

His fabric thong is now painted on, so there is no chance of having a nekkid Stretch.

Speaking of Stretching, does he still work?


Well it’s hard to take photos and work this thing, so I had to employ a local teenager.

He does as advertised!

In summation, I’m very happy to have this guy back in my life and at $25 he was well worth it. If you have kids under ten, Stretch should go under the tree this year.


They’re available at Target in the retro games aisle but also through Amazon  (of which this blog gets a teensy piece if you click this link) and I heartily recommend this for you.


As an added incentive, Jazwares has hinted on Twitter that Stretch Monster will be next. So buy two, they’re cheap!

Check out our vintage Stretch Armstrong Archive

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